Joke Thread

[Dark Riku]

Post your jokes here!

Buk and Martha go to the carnival every year, and each year, Buk says to Martha, "I'd really like to ride that there airplane.". And Martha would say, "I know you would Buk, but that there plane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.".

20 years later, Buk and Martha go to the carnival again.

"Martha, I'm 75 years old now, and I'd like to ride that there airplane vefore I drop."

The pilot heard the couple arguing, and intervined.

"Okay, I'll let you have one ride free. But you can't say ANYTHING during the ride.". Buk and Martha agreed.

The pilot tried every possible meneuver he could concieve, from loop to barrel rolls and many others.

When they landed, the pilot said to Buk, "I tried everything I could think of to make you say something, but I just couldn't do it.". Buk turned to the pilot and sait,

"Well, I thought of saying something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

The End

[EbeneezerAl]

I moved this to Comedy.

A blonde wants to prove that not all blondes are dumb. So she dyes her hair brown. Why? Who knows? She's blonde.

But with her new hair color she goes driving down the street and soon come upon a farmer with a bunch of sheep. (Now this would technically make him a shepherd, but for the purposes of my story, he is a farmer). The blonde stops her car and calls out to the farmer.

"Excuse me sir," she says. "If I can guess how many sheep you have in this field, can I keep one?"

The farmer thinks about it for a moment and finally says:

"Sure, I don't see why not."

Th blonde looks out into the field and after concidering for a minut, she says:

"Fourty-three."

"That's right, miss," says the farmer. "A deal is a deal. Go pick you a sheep."

The blonde goes out among the sheep, grabs one, gets in her car, and begin's to drive off. In her rear view mirror she can see the farmer running towards her waving his arms. So she stops and he comes up to her window. Rather our of breath, the farmer looks inside the car and asks:

"Miss, if I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"

[Zenrot]

Two women were hurrying through the Christmas crowds on Main Street, when one happens to hear a strange, little voice, down below her knees.

"Hey!" it yells at her. "Look down here!"

What should she see but a small, frightened green frog, stuck in a showbank. Rush hour trucks and taxis are missing this little guy by just inches.

"Pick me up!" the frog begs.

The woman reaches down with a gloved hand, scoops the critter from the snow and holds him delicately at arm's length.

"Thank you!" he cries. "Now kiss me! I swear if you kiss me, I'll turn into a hotshot Wall Street stockbroker!"

The woman says nothing, and instead tucks the frog in her pocket.

A few minutes later, her walking companion can't stand the suspense.

"Aren't you going to kiss the frog?" she asks.

"Are you kidding?" laughs the rescuer. "You can make more money with a talking frog than you can with a hotshot Wall Street stockbroker."

[Chocobo Dyl]

A rabbit goes into a butchers and says to the butcher,"Can I have a lettuce,Sir"

The butcher laughs and says,"I'm a butcher I don't sell lettuce"

The rabbit Replies,"I've heard that you grow the best lettuce in the whole village."

The Butcher blushes,"Well yes,I'll give you one."

The next day this happens again and the next day it happens again and so on or a week.

On the 8th day the rabbit asks again for a lettuce.

The butcher replies,"I will give you one more,but come again and I'll nail your ears to the floor with 9 inch nails."

The next day the rabbit walks into the butchers,"Excuse me sir,Do you have any 9 inch nails,"

"No,I don't" says the butcher

"I'll have a lettuce then."replies the rabbit

[emo kairi]

Here is a joke but i don't mean it in a rude or offensive way.

Why are japanese so smart?

Because there are no blondes in japan

[emo kairi]

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It might take a while for me to get hard because i just got laid by a chick

[Sephiroth X Slasher]

a man calls a doctor
Umm what's this bump in my pants?
Excuse me
Yeah there's bump in my pants
Where are you?
At a Strip club hahahaaaaaaa *click*